During the earliest months of the 2020 COVID pandemic, during which time
everyone was under what amounted to house arrest in the hopes of limiting
the spread, and just about everything was shut down, and everyone thought
this might be a far more temporary reality than it was, among the things I
drew during one of my visual arts equivalent of a jam session Jesus Christ
with me was this picture:
A picture I honestly felt like I had been waiting my whole life to draw, and
which actually I found a rather overwhelming, and very uplifting experience
because at the moment I drew this picture I honestly would never have thought
I was capable of of this, or for that matter ever would be.
Being not the kind of person who would tend to seek to draw butterflies because while
beautiful, they aren't the life forms I will tend to be naturally oriented towards.
However right before Easter there were several of them appearing in my artwork for
some reason...I learned why later, and after that I both regret (because of what I
found out was happening at the time), and yet would never take back having then said
something to Jesus about wanting to do something else (because of what happened after
I said something to him about being a little less than enthusiastic about the butterflies)
What happened next I could never have predicted, because at that point I felt like something
pushed me in direction I didn't even know I was capable of going:
Not a picture I thought I would ever draw until after the fact. I felt like I was pushed
in that direction over and over. Doing something that is best described by a horse training
technique I once read about in a magazine.
A horse wanted to canter, when the rider wanted to trot. The rider got sick of the horse
fighting her on it and then cued the animal to canter, not just a little, but to keep
cantering faster until it was galloping, and said horse was plenty ready to behave for
a while after that...or at least not to try to canter when someone said trot.
I felt a bit like that horse they were talking about in the magizine must have by the time I was drawing this picture:
because at the point I was overwhelmed, and actually freaking out a little bit. Not something I ever would have thought could happen
in the course of anything I was doing with my artwork prior to that point.
I was pretty much ready to slow down because it was starting to go through my head...I
did that how, what? It felt (rightly or wrongly) like there was spiritual encounter
involved with this, what if I can't repeat it, or continue to have it at that level?
I don't know if I can do it again, and I am pretty sure the bar just got raised?
Well turns out I didn't have to worry as this picture demonstrates:
Because while the overwhelming power didn't continue (and no not every picture I draw
is a master piece even after that) I felt like everything slowed and the artwork I was
doing took on less the feel of something being pushed from trot to gallop and much more the quality of
a learning curve...which while different was still nothing short of awesome.
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